Choose you~

Choices. Whether they are about tangible things, or behaviors. We all have them, although, we don’t always recognize it. We are making choices from the time we get up till the time we lay our heads down. The list is endless. I never thought I had choices. I thought I was at the mercy of everyone else and the universe. What did I do to deserve all the chaos and struggles I was swimming in for so many years?

I chose to take my first drink, and the few hundred after that. But I got to a point where I didn’t have the choice anymore. I was simply surviving because that’s what the alcohol convinced me I needed.

Once I got sober, I didn’t know how to make choices for myself. It was overwhelming to me, and I was afraid of making choices. So much self-doubt, guilt, and uncertainty. I didn’t know how to use my voice to state what I wanted or needed. I never learned to advocate for myself. Women are often seen as being “b*&@hes”, or difficult when we speak up for ourselves. That mindset needs to change.

It has definitely become easier to make choices, and confidently use my voice for myself, and the world around me. Everyday I choose me when I wake up; choose to be kind, and not so hard on myself. It’s about being intentional with my choices. I can miss the mark a lot of days with food choices, or time-sucking activities, but can reset myself by showing myself some grace for making those choices. It’s about balance, and I get to decide what that looks like.

Ask yourself if you are choosing yourself on a daily basis?