Love yourself first…

Wanting everyone to like me. That is something I used to struggle with as a child, teenager, young adult, and into my 30’s! Ugh, that’s a long time. I let people’s opinions of me dictate my worth. I took those opinions and treated them as if they were the “truth”. Just because someone said something about me, didn’t mean it was true! It took me awhile to apply that little nugget of information to my life.

If I sensed someone didn’t like me, it was automatically my fault. The negative chatter swirling through my head was always trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I didn’t believe in myself enough to challenge other peoples narratives, and lacked the courage to not care what people thought. I was always seeking validation outside of myself. I didn’t know how to validate my own damn self. Other people’s opinions of who I was were more important than what I thought of myself. Even from people I didn’t really like. This unrealistic view of myself turned into another realization of a dysfunctional pattern in myself: people-pleasing. That is a topic I will save for another day.

I remember being told early on in my recovery journey, that not everyone will like me and that’s okay. Boy, was that a lightbulb moment! Did I like everyone I ever met? Oh my gosh no… so why put that unrealistic expectation on myself?! I have learned that I am enough, and that others’ opinions of me have nothing to do with with me. Treat yourself with loving kindness, and focus on making your well-being a priority.

Remember, the most important person that has to like you, is the one you see staring back at you when you look into a mirror.