Under the radar, my ADHD ~
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD at age 51. I was able to recognize it in others, but never myself. I was that girl who had “talks too much” on her report cards, every. damn. year. I was constantly yelled at by my stepfather because I didn’t know how to “sit still”, be “quiet”, pay attention, keep a “tidy room” just to name a few. I can still hear my Gram whispering in my ear when we were out to dinner to “Act, like a lady.” It makes me smile when I think about that, and her encouraging words of suggesting I “slow down” with regard to my "squirrel like” behaviors.
Growing up in the ‘70’s & ‘80’s, an ADHD diagnosis in girls was not a “thing”. Girls presented their symptoms differently than boys do, which allowed them to be overlooked. Boys were more “rowdy”, and labeled as just “being boys”. Girls didn’t get to use an excuse for that type of behavior. Girls were taught to be quiet, not to speak up, sit nicely, mind your manners, etc. (refer back to my Gram’s comment above). I wasn’t the greatest student, but I wasn’t the worst either. I definitely waited to the last minute to complete projects, assignments, and struggled so badly with math concepts.
Girls with ADHD are more susceptible to substance abuse. That’s me too. A 27 year drinking career ensued starting at age 14. I graduated high school with a middle of the road GPA, and went on to graduate with a Bachelor of Arts degree slightly above the middle of the road GPA. Twenty-five years later, graduated with a 4.0 and awarded a Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. The latter degree was not easy, and I kicked a$&.
As a therapist, I’ve worked with SO many people where addiction & ADHD were part of their history. Alcohol & drugs appear at first to “quiet the brain”. My brain jumps from one thing to the next without completing the previous thought sometimes. I wonder what my life would have looked like if I was properly diagnosed, and supported at home and school. Would I have ventured down the addiction road the way I did? I would definitely not change my path, but discovering that the ADHD disorder was in play, it gives me some peace knowing there is a reason why my brain works the way it does, and why my behaviors are the way they are. I always say, there is nothing wrong with me; I just learned to work with who I am.